This episode was not like any other episode of this series to date. From the instant Simmons realized she was on a different planet and the title appears silently, you just knew this was something special.

Death

1. Simmons’ scientific tests and recording of what she was seeing and experiencing was pretty fun to watch. Watching her jump up and down trying to figure out the gravity was pretty funny. It was actually light-hearted until the realization that she could only survive with no water for 100 hours. At that moment, the episode took a somewhat drastic change. There was no more experimenting. It was survival time.

71. WHERE IS THE SUN. No, really, where is it? If there is a sun for that moon, it has to be on the other side of its parent planet, and the moon Simmons was on was tidally locked in a way to never see the sun (except every 18 years) Much like our Moon’s “day” is a month; Simmons’ moon’s “day” is a year (as defined by the orbit of the parent planet). If you watch the sky throughout the episode the other moon has a similar (but slightly different) tidally locked orbit.

101. Simmons barely made it to that water pit, and even though she had been looking for the past 100 hours for water, I’m surprised she trusted it right away. I remember reading somewhere (oh god please don’t try it) that if you’re not sure if something is poison or edible, rub it on your skin and wait a while to see if there is a reaction. If not, then break it open (if it’s a plant) and rub it on your skin, and wait. If no reaction, put it on your lip, and wait. If nothing, break it open and put it on your lip. If nothing, put a little bit in your mouth and spit it out, and wait. If nothing, eat a little bit, and wait. If nothing, etc. etc. until you’re sure it won’t harm you. Simmons just dove right in.

109. No really, she literally dove right in, and was straight up having a good time again. You know, until she met dinner. DINNER BIATCH was probably the best line of the night.

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111. It took her two hours, but she finally ate that tentacle. Maybe she followed the steps I listed? Who knows. What I do know is that the sound it made when Simmons took a bite almost made me gag. HHHURRRH.

752. Ok. Fitz. WHAT DID YOU DO TO THAT PHONE. It has the most glorious battery life in the entire world. It’s like 7 am right now and my battery is already at 80% after having a full charge when I woke up. AND I JUST DROVE TO WORK.

Damn you Star Wars Commander, takin’ all my juice.

I absolutely love that Simmons took the time to explain that Fitz did something to her phone to supercharge it (it’s not some Verizon-SHIELD special offer) and the constant reminder to conserve battery power.

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815. I love that Simmons took the time to get in shape and was able to opossum her way out of that cage. Apparently Will wasn’t even sure if she was real, and wanted to be sure. (Hey, if you were “alone” for 14 years, you’d be a little sketchy, too!)

So two things: “it” smells blood and the planet has “moods.” Is the planet alive, like Ego? Ego existed in a “black galaxy,” which may just have been a dark nebula somewhere in the Milky Way. That would explain why they only saw the sun every 18 years. Maybe it’s not Ego, but something similar, with its own consciousness? HMM.

Also, What exactly smells blood? That cloaked figure that Will kept calling Death was pretty trippy, what with looking like actual death and that freaky astronaut at the end. Holy hell.

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What if that actually was Death? You know, not the grim reaper, but Death? The one Thanos is all hot and bothered over. This show was able to introduce the INHUMANS to us a good four years before their own movie comes out - what if this is the first (or only) glimpse of Thanos’ greatest prize? Everything he does is to impress Death. They don’t even have to use Death in Infinity Wars. They can just give vague references to the one thing out of Thanos’ reach, and it can be one of many reasons for him wanting to control the universe.

853. So NASA knew about the Monolith and sent a team through to investigate. Will said that somehow they knew there was a habitable planet on the other side, but that information was above his pay grade.

This explains how SHIELD (and Pointier-SHIELD) got their hands on the Monolith - it was already in government hands. In fact, they had been experimenting with it for at least 14 years.

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But who at NASA (or the government besides SHIELD) knew what it was and what it could do? Did the TAHITI Kree give information to Hydra before he died, and they were the ones (while working inside the government) that got the ball rolling? Sending a team through a portal seems like something they would do. Dicks.

Side note: Will should be the master of the trick shot with that ball and bucket her was playing with. He’s has 14 years to practice. He’d put those Youtube trick shot people to shame. SHAME.

3010. Well, now we know what happened to that 19th century Englishman. At least they gave him a sword! He didn’t survive (how long is a question, but he died next to all of his gear so probably not that long), but his demise helped our Simmons. 19th Centuryman had that astronomical instrument to record the stars. What did THEY know about the other side when they sent him? Maybe it wasn’t TAHITI Kree, but an older legend or information that gave NASA the confidence to send a team.

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We also learned that the Monolith wasn’t exactly triggering at Inhumans, but was on some type of schedule. Simmons was able to predict that the portal was fixed in space, and that the planet moved around it. Maybe there was some time dilation going on, because the Monolith triggered a lot more frequently than the portal opened on the planet. Or, maybe, the Monolith cycled through destinations? Maybe different frequencies cause it to open in different places? ARE THERE MORE MONOLITHS??

3183. SHE BUILT THIS IN A CAVE WITH A BOX OF SCRAPS!

3575. I have a theory: When Will shot the bottle towards the portal with the awesome telescope gun, the bottle JUST missed going through the portal. However, this was the last opening before Fitz was able to come through for Simmons. When the bottle landed as the portal closed, maybe that pushed the sand through that Fitz found. The next time the portal opened, they shot a flare and Fitz jumped through.

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4720. Simmons lost hope, just like she said. However, it took a lot longer than she let on. Her and Will had a thing, but at the time, they were all each of them had left (Simmons sacrificed her phone for the computer). It will be somewhat of an issue, but not really. Not for more than an episode or so. Fitz understands.

We also learned why she freaked out when she saw the wine when Fitz finally took her to dinner. Harsh.

4722+. Fitz was Simmons’ rock when she was surrounded by rocks. He didn’t hesitate to offer to help Will once he heard the story, because he truly is the best friend. I WANT A FRIEND LIKE FITZ. I think he was somewhat jealous but completely understood why Simmons did what she did, and won’t hold it against her. This isn’t angsty Fitz or damaged Fitz, this is Fitz the Man. They have each other, and if helping Simmons get her friend back will help Simmons, then he’s all in.

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Side note: Throughout the episode, we saw a picture of Fitz on Simmons’ phone. When she was telling him the story, he was sitting in the EXACT SAME POSE.

We all need to be more like Fitz.

Goodnight, Fitz.

Me, this entire episode: